What do you do on the days when you fail at everything miserably?
DH woke up ill, and we still don't know if it is food related or virus related. Needless to say, his overall contribution to the day was limited to what he could do from the couch while playing hours and hours of unrelenting football games on the television. (Please don't get me started on my views of football)
An under the weather spouse can really throw everything into upheaval. My second pair of hands was rendered useless due to pain and misery. The boys knew it almost immediately.
"See Daddy Night Night?"
"That is right. Daddy doesn't feel well."
My normally sweet and happy children became little spawns of evil. Crying if they didn't get their way immediately, then hitting if the answer to their request was No. Full blown tantrums of throwing themselves on the floor which was thankfully on the carpeting. I was unable to even use the bathroom without an audience. It is amazing at how one can coach their toddler through teeth brushing while attempting to use the bathroom, multi-tasking indeed.
And of course, I wasn't able to get groceries Saturday. This meant I had to go to the grocery store during nap time. A Sunday at the grocery store, arguably the most crowded day of the week. That sort of scenario is basically what I consider Hell. No time to catch my breath during nap time. There were meals to plan and groceries to buy. Without DH, it also meant any and all household duties (HELLO laundry!) were up to me alone.
Somewhere in the middle of dodging the crowds at the local Kroger, I started listening to the angry voice in my head. You know, the inward pity party that lamented not getting to do anything I wanted or needed to accomplish. Angry because my husband was laid up on the couch, angry because the weather wasn't cooperating so I could get the boys out to play, and angrier still that if I could get the boys outside I wouldn't get to do anything else.
My mood took a significant nose dive from that point on. Even though I knew I was making the situation worse, and that I was the only one turning my day to crap, I let it continue. If my husband asked me for something, I was annoyed and let it show. I was short and cranky with the boys, which certainly didn't help their mood or behavior.
Basically, I let my day get ruined by stupid little events. I wasted a day being bitter. I lost a day with my boys and enjoying them because I was too self absorbed. My poor husband, ill and sad because he couldn't be of help was made to feel even worse because I was put out.
I basically sucked all around.
In my irritation, I tried to shove a monumentally large pile of potato and carrot peelings into the garbage disposal and guess what? Oh yes, I clogged that sucker good. Brown, frothy water mockingly spit up at me from the drain while the disposal spun around uselessly. While every part of me wanted to storm out of the house and take comfort in a cup of tea at my local coffee shop, I took a deep breath and dealt with it. Between my plumber father in law, and with the coaching of DH, I played amateur plumber and unclogged the pipes beneath the sink.
It was gross. Between the residual grime in the pipes, the dirty and dripping water, and the chopped up potato and carrot peels, I was covered in dirty trash and several years of pipe goo. Somewhere in the middle of my husband's patient assistance, I realized the gunk was symbolic of my day. I had let all sorts of junk clog up my brain and as a result, I stopped functioning the way I should. I had let my entire day be poisoned by stupidity. Instead of brushing it off and going with the flow, I dug in my heels and acted like a spoiled child.
Well....crap. I apologized to my munchkins and to my poor husband as I reviewed the day in my head. The worst part was letting myself waste a day with my family. I let a precious day slip through my fingers. It makes me wonder how many others I have let slip away for any reason. It makes me more conscience of being present in each day with my family. It makes me aware of exactly how easy it is to let bitterness spread and affect your life.
A small little start can turn into a big pile and clog up your being. Make sure your plumbing skills are up to par.