Sometimes you have to step back and stare amazed at the little people your children are becoming. The ways their personalities shine (or antagonize), the way they approach the world and you think,
"God, thank you for these moments. For these tiny humans that have blessed my life."
As a family, we traveled down to our neighborhood park. The boys ran as fast as their legs could go and rand with pure joy over the ladders, down the slides, and back again. At one point, E-dude started climbing up one of the 'ladder' climbing devices on the side of the playground equipment. The top point is fairly high off the ground and to get from the climb to the platform requires stretching the leg over open air. When he and G-man attempted these feats a few weeks ago, I felt the familiar heart pound and hovered closely, hands ready to catch if they missed.
Each time they went up and screamed "I did it!" and each successive attempt I gave them a little more room to try on their own. Could they miss and get hurt? Yes. And being the rough and tumble dudes that they are, it is going to happen eventually.
But I have to let them try. I have to give them the opportunity to take some risk, to give them some taste of independence. And it is terrifying.
Because I look at the future. And instead of ladders and platforms it is a culture that considers underage drinking and teenage sex rites of passage. It is a world where self gratification rules and anything else is considered archaic or abnormal.
And I don't want to respond by not giving the boys the tools they need to deal with a fallen world. I can't hide them away and hope that someday in their adulthood they don't run towards the bad whilst yelling "oooh, pretty!."
So that means balance- teaching truth while acknowledging error. And honesty. And praying to God that He helps me teach them to be secure in their identity in Christ.
But today I am content to chase them on the playground, and do flippies over the bar that will later remind me that I need to get back into shape. To climb up the slide with they boys yelling ,"Mommy, come sliding."