Thursday, January 30, 2014

I don't care how you parent


The mommy wars things makes me batty. If our own parents and society have taught us anything it is that there is not one correct way to parent.  All parents are imperfect and MOST are doing their best to raise their kids to be loving, caring, productive adults.

I Loved this photo gallery: Differing Parenting Styles
And it made me think about my own group of friends and family.  We all parent differently.  Some are more disciplinarian while others are more hands off.  Some are particular about foods, chemicals, breast feeding, formula feeding, circumcision, natural child birth, spanking, crying it out, attachment parenting, traditional parenting...The list is endless and you know what?  All of the kids seem to be turning out just fine.

And most importantly- the kids know they are loved by their parents. They know their parents will support them and care for them.

The photo gallery also made me think that some of the fault lies in our own harmless intentions.  I have issues with processed food-it is one of the battles I pick.  As a result, my Facebook page may have many references to 'real' food and how I think processed food is the devil (no lie).   I do that because it interests me and I am passionate about it.  But in this social media world I can see how easily someone might think that my posting an article about the dangers of High Fructose Corn Syrup indicates that I think THEY are a bad parent if they feed their kids products with HFCS.  (I don't.)

Because when we are reading from behind the screen we take things more personally-even generalized observations. I can think of a few times when I was guilty of taking something too personally based on a FB post.

So, for one thing...we have to stop being so sensitive as a whole and agree to disagree.  We also need to post carefully-not to be politically correct but to remember that our online words matter too. We are each unique creations who parent the way we think is correct.  We will make mistakes and we will learn from them.

I believe that if you are raising a child to be caring, sympathetic, respectful, thoughtful, aware, loving, and (insert positive adjective here) you are doing a great job.  You love your child and you are doing the best you can do.

Take a deep breath moms and dads.  You are doing ok.


  1. Love this post Heather!! I needed to hear this as a new mom. Everyone is always giving me advice, which I appreciate, however, I will not always take it if I do at all. I am doing things my way and appreciate my friends who do the same. I do love that we can all agree that we love our kids. Thanks for this today!!! I really needed it.

    1. Love ya Lindsey! It is insane, isn't it? It is hard enough just being a parent without worrying about what everyone else thinks!

  2. Absolutely!! Thank you for sharing such a kind and thoughtful post!

    I will say though that the only issue that really gets under my skin, because it's a decision parents make that affects much more than their own children, is vaccinations. The anti-vax movement is hurting all of us and because it has the very real potential to negatively impact my children, my family, and my community, I get pretty infuriated by it.

    Other than that, I completely respect and understand that all families are different and as long as people are doing their best to make thoughtful choices based on sound evidence, I support them...even if they are not the choices I would make or have made.

    By the way, I am also living in the "TwinSane Asylum!" I have 6 year-old b/g twins plus a 4 y/o son. I'm really glad I found your blog today through the Weekend Blog Block Party over at Krystal's Kitsch. I'd be honored if you took some time to come over and visit my blog as well at Thank you!

    1. Thanks for stopping by! And I am in awe of you for being brave enough to have another kiddo after twins-I am too afraid of winding up with four :P And as far as confessionals-I get pretty riled up about car seat safety, so I totally feel you on certain hot spots. Coming on over to your blog!